A disaster occurs. People have been without power or running water for a week and are now out of food, too. They show up at your house and ask you to share. What do you do?
I have had this article topic in my ‘drafts’ for about 6 months now. It is a touchy subject that I, quite frankly, did not want to touch on due to the controversy that it can cause. Ironically, that is the very reason that I decided to: it is a subject that is unpleasant therefore it needs to be discussed. Learning how to sail a boat during a storm is a surefire way to get yourself killed. Trying to decide what to do in this situation while it is happening can have some negative consequences.
I do not claim to be an expert on any of this stuff. I do, however, have some very strong feelings about it and tend to look at the situation in a black and white, logical manner. Of course, logic will have little to no bearing when you have 5 people at your door, begging for food they think you have to spare (whether you do or not does not matter). So, let’s dive in.
Most preppers or survivalists have thought about this topic and while some have an idea or plan of what they would do, it is hard to really say until you are in the thick of it. Part of preparing is having the skills and plan to deal with the ugly side of humanity who will be knocking on your door. Even if you have 100% solid OPSEC and there isn’t another soul who knows about your 6 month supply of necessities, they will come knocking. Even if you are like us and aren’t ‘preppers’ per se but lean more on the side of homesteading, they will come knocking. Or just break your door in. Are you ready for that?
For those who have tried to talk to people and wake them up to the need to have some food and whatnot set back just in case, only to hear them say, “If something bad happens, I’ll just come to your house.” you need to tell them loud and clear.
“NO, YOU CAN’T COME TO MY HOUSE.”
It doesn’t matter if they are saying it in a joking manner. It doesn’t matter if it will tick them off or offend them. They need to understand that you are serious and that you are not FEMA, the local government, or their parents. Here is a real conversation I had not too long ago about this very topic at my day job. It was with one of the paraprofessionals I know.
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THEM: “Well, if it all goes crazy, I will just come to your house since you have all I would need!”
ME: “Uh, no. I don’t think so. That would not be a good move on your part. I don’t have anything for you at my house or anywhere else.”
THEM: “But you just said you are building a 3 month food supply up. That is plenty extra to share.” (It was at this point my temper started to rise. I took a deep breath and kept my calm.)
ME: “You’re right. I am trying to build a 3 month supply of food for TWO people. How long do you think that will last if you and your 3 kids come? Not only that, even if I only had enough extra for two weeks, what makes you think it is acceptable to come to my place and expect me to take care of you and your children with my resources? Resources that I worked for, saved for, and put up.”
THEM: “But we’ve known each other forever. Would you really turn me and my hungry kids away?”
ME: “Yes, yes I would. You acknowledge that there is a need to prepare and yet don’t. You assume that it is OK for you to come to my house and eat up my food and resources without offering anything in return?” (Of course, the smile was gone from their face at this point and they did not look very happy.)
THEM: “Wow… I guess I never expected you to be so greedy.”
ME: “Greedy? How is it being greedy to work, save, and plan for my family to make it through some hard times and not want to just give it away to someone who didn’t take care of their own?”
THEM: “Well, not sharing when others are in need…”
ME: “OK, let me ask you something. I am out of ammo for my .22 rifle. You have some and I want you to share it. You know you can’t get anymore but since I am in need, I think you should give it to me.”
THEM: *Scoffing* “Well, you should have stocked some up like we did! We need it for ourselves.”
ME: *Looks at them…waiting*
THEM: “That is completely different than if my kids were starving.”
ME: “No, it isn’t. You stocked up when you could and now you have supplies. I am stocking food a little at a time so I will have it if needed. It is not my responsibility to prepare for my family and yours. I am not FEMA and I am certainly not the local charity. I worked, I planned, I have. A lack of planning and foresight on your part does not make a responsibility, emergency, or obligation on mine.”
THEM: *Looking at me, slightly aghast that I would be so inhumane and ‘greedy.’*
ME: “You are an able bodied person who can choose to do the same thing I am or you can expect that the government will swoop in and hand over whatever you need in the quantity you are used to. Because, we all saw how well that worked during Katrina and Sandy. What world do you live in that makes you think that is acceptable? I am not the government, I am not FEMA and I don’t have the supplies you think I do. Why should I be expected to just freely give over what I have to you? How can you even expect that would be a given or normal thing? Do you just hand over what you have to people without expecting anything in return?”
THEM: “Well no but you are talking about the grid being down or some other disaster. People need to help each other get through it.”
ME: “Yes, people do have to help each other to make it. But first, they need to help themselves. I’m not saying that I would be ‘that guy’ who just turns people away on principle. If people are willing to work with me and the group for the betterment of all, then I am right there next to them but the people who just expect you should share without contributing anything or even trying to barter, will not be welcome.”
__________
Needless to say, that person is much less friendly toward me than they used to be. I consider it worth it if they started to think about what I said and began planning for their own family’s needs.
Now consider having this conversation with family members. Your lazy cousin who spends more time trying to get free entitlements from the government than they would if they just got a job. The aunt who lives high and mighty in her huge home worth half a million dollars but only shops for food once a week and never has anything extra. Your siblings who tease you constantly about being a ‘doomsday prepper’ while they go into debt just to get the latest iPhone. All of these people will come to your home when they run out of food (or even before, hoarding what they have but expecting you to share all you have) and other supplies. How will you handle it? There is no perfect answer here. The worst solution you can go with is to just freely let them in because it puts your immediate family in jeopardy of not surviving the disaster.
There are solutions that can be worked out beforehand though! Offering to store supplies for them (if able) is one. Giving them a shopping list of extra stuff to buy here and there and then storing it at your home is a great way to make sure that the people you know will come have been accounted and planned for. Even if it is a little, that is better than nothing! One of the things I have personally done is to buy preparedness items as Christmas and birthday gifts.
Of course, these are only to those I really care about and worry over (or just know in my heart that they will come running if the SHTF). I explain to them what it is and why I am giving it to them. I explain that since they will not listen, the items are their ‘key’ to being let in. They will not come empty handed and will contribute to the group overall. They were very grateful actually. More than one commented about how it was kind to think of their emergency needs and supplies. (And it is cheaper than the average Christmas present, too!). I would like to believe that people will band together and do whatever they can to help each other and there will certainly be that….at first. When your 3 year old is so hungry that they don’t even cry for food anymore and just stare with a dull, blank look – what would YOU do? That’s right, whatever it took.
There is a large risk with any of the above suggestions, of course. It is likely that these people will tell others “I have 20 pounds of rice and beans stored at my cousin’s house in case of a disaster.” That causes less security for not only them but you as well. The people they told will show up either with them or alone, and when you tell them you have nothing for them, will say, “But so and so told me you have all this food.” When you tell them no again, they will likely get ticked off and come back with more people to take what you may or may not have. You could be telling the truth when you say you have nothing left but hungry people aren’t thinking logically. They will not believe you (or care) and are bent on getting inside to take whatever they believe you have. It is really easy for people to be generous with supplies they took from someone else (or were given by the government).
I find myself getting hardened to the prevalent mindset of people today. Particularly those who only consume and do not create or contribute. They don’t try to learn how to preserve food or provide for themselves at all, only consume. What really gets me is the people on food stamps who spend a fortune on steak and lobster dinners but refuse to get a 20# bag of rice, beans, and oats to make sure they have enough food in a bad situation (like when there are no more food stamps accepted or the stores are wiped clean). Now, before you get all twisted and think I am getting down on people who use food stamps, just stop right there. I use it to make a point of how people these days focus primarily on the now and never consider the later because there will be more on the card the next month.
The majority of the population never considers that during martial law, stores can and likely will be shut down completely. In a large disaster, there may be no 911 to call. No police will come to your rescue when hungry mobs are breaking into your house to take the last grains of rice. Law officials will be either dealing with something else or taking care of their own family. If the power goes out for a long time, say goodbye to having clean, running water.
When people get desperate enough, they will go out looking for whatever they can find. That sweet teenager who helps mow your lawn every summer could turn into a gun toting looter if hungry and desperate enough. We here in America are so used to seeing these things happen on TV and in ‘other places’ that they couldn’t possibly fathom it actually happening here and to them.
And that is their first mistake.
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Great post and if nothing else, it will make people think and hopefully take some action for themselves. Thanks.
Thank you! That is truly my intent, to make people think and see that they are responsible for themselves.
I understand your concern for others, particularly if they are relatives. You cannot “make people think and see they are responsible for themselves.” You do not have that power. You help those that WANT it, NOT those that NEED it. There is a huge difference.
Your first mistake is even having a discussion with someone of the mindset that you portrayed. It is truly a waste of time, better spent prepping with LIKE MINDED people. The answer to the question: “Can’t I just come stay with you,” is NO. If you are in The Southern U.S., it is perfectly acceptable to say: HELL NAW!
Thanks for the comment. I get what you are saying and even agree to a certain point. The difference is there are some people I refuse to ‘give up on.’ Furthermore, not everyone starts out LIKE MINDED…they get that way through exposure to new things. 😉
I use the analogy of money. If my budgeting is poor and I can’t pay for major repairs to ??? This could be a “real time” disaster. Would I expect others to just fork over they’re emergency money? I never fail to see the light in they’re eyes when I continue along this line. Because time is money and my supplies cost money, etc.
That is a good way to put it and in terms that everyone can relate to! Thanks for the comment!
it is a great post and like you I have stuggled with this myself. What would be the humane thing to do? or the christian thing to do? I’ve made myself a promise that I would only assits inner circle family. Spouse, Children, Grandchrildren, Her Parents, and our dogs. No siblings hers or mine nor any of their families. Hard yes but it has to be done. The wife and I both agree to the and are planning accordingly.
The only downfall to this post is the people who will be seeing it. we’re preaching to the choir as it were.
Thank you! I was worried about posting it but am really glad I did. If it gets even one person to THINK and then ACT, it was worth any negative blowback I may get from it. Thanks for the comment and I agree, it is hard but has to be done. There is helping, and then there is handing out to people who could and should have taken care of themselves.
I think the shortest response to someone saying they’ll come to your house is to tell them. “Hey, I need $4,000 for an emergency. Can you help me out?” If they answer “no” in any form whatsoever, just give them the long stare as above. They’ll “get it” They may not admit it, but they’ll “get it”
Love this! 🙂
Thank you!
Hi Linda, I think asking them for money is a great idea. It is the perfect rejoinder to “I’ll just come to your house.”
Doing so drives home the ideas that YOU are putting your own money into being prepared, and that they are essentially saying they expect you to give them some of that money.
It can also be a serious offer to help the other person become prepared. This is an offer which can be made with a smile because one is sincere about helping them…at their OWN expense. It has the added advantage for them in that their preps can be kept at their own home, not taking up space in yours.
It doesn’t even have to be $4,000. For $1,000 they can have stored water, long term storage foods, a camp stove and fuel, flashlights, lanterns, and batteries, a decent first aid kit, a decent radio…pretty much everything they need for a two to four week emergency. A month would get them through nearly anything short of TEOTWAWKI.
Helping them would cost almost nothing in time as nearly everything can be gotten off of Amazon and/or the LDS/Mormon preparedness site. Helping them makes them self-sufficient, so they WON’T be knocking on your door. And helping them might end up in producing an ally in an emergency instead of a moocher.
Of course it may not work, but it in that case, if they show up at your door, you have an unassailable position: “I offered to help you and you refused. I’m heartbroken that you did this to your children. Go away.” No apologies expected, required, or offered.
My guess is that lot of the “I’ll just come to your place” remarks are made by normally decent people who have not yet made the conceptual leap to realizing that maybe they really should be prepared for sudden emergencies. They still think this is a bit of a joke, and that is how they respond.
They may be making what are to us offensive, even threatening, remarks because they don’t understand that we are actually serious, and that they actually are not. They see themselves as kidding, when we see them as serious, because they don’t believe that they could ever be in a situation for which they should have prepared.
I like your idea a lot. In the future I’ll offer to help people prepare, at their own expense.
That is a fantastic idea!
Them:”I’ll just come to your house”
ME: “Great! How many people are you bringing? 4? OK, that will be $4,000. Upfront. That will get you food, shelter and water for so and so days. I’m so glad. You have made a wonderful decision to prepare for your family”
I don’t know if they would “get it” but it would make them think and maybe open the door for a prepper dialogue.
EXcellent article! I don’t think my immediate neighbors would be the ones to worry about, however there are some about a mile away that would come begging or stealing what they could. Most people that I am ‘friendly’ with are told about the ‘weeds’ that are edible and available in their area. They know not to bother us.
Thank you Diane! There are some neighbors I worry about a little but with so many who are planned for that will be there, we would outnumber them. Safety in numbers!
Great article. The difference between a hand out and a hand up. If you are willing to work for it, I may have an extra chicken running around here. For my neighbors who complained that my poultry trespassed when they put a block of birdseed 3 feet from the property line, I won’t have anything but buckshot to share. I sometimes wonder if a good cleanse of the sort that most homesteaders/preppers could weather would not be a good thing for this nation. It sounds harsh, but similarly to what you said, there will be more money on the card next week, or next month. Tough love, learn to provide for you and yours. 50 or 60 years ago, everyone would have been considered a prepper. Grocery stores were not open 24/7. My soapbox is starting to collapse, so I will climb off it for now. Thanks again.
Hey there Bob! Thank you for the comment and viewpoint on the article. Glad to know my message got across. I am not some horrific heartless person but if you aren’t willing to work for it, I am not willing to help you with the things I myself worked for. Kind of like hitch-hikers, if you are standing in place with your thumb out, I will pass you everytime. Those who are trying to make it AND hitch-hiking are the ones I pick up because they are at least trying to make it on their own. (We live on an island so it’s pretty darn safe!). Thanks again for the comment and following along!
I hear ya! I live in a small rural community, and am lucky to have a tight knit relationship with most of my neighbors (except for the creepy convicted child molester at the end of the street, he can starve for all I give a crap) we are a share and share alike kind of group. We pass around extras between us as needed, kids out grow clothes/shoes/sporting equipment, someone else on the street gets it passed to them. Run out of sugar baking, run to the neighbors and beg a cup, than buy them a bag when you go to the store next, etc! In a SHTF we would just be CLOSER, between us we have 13 adults and 10 kids, and we would do everything needed to keep that crew of kids safe, happy, warm and well fed! Living in a rural community means that you are prepped no matter what you think about the current world situation! The nearest Walmart is a 75mile round trip, YOU DONT MAKE that trip more than once every week or 2. We have a small grocery store that carries the basics but if you want to stock up on stuff you make the trip to town. So when you shop, you SHOP lol! Given that we can get up to 16 ft of snow in a winter, and weather can keep you housebound for at least a day or 2 at a time, keeping extras on hand is a MUST if you want to eat more than Ramen noodles!
I know that in SHTF there will be people in our town that will come to our special street and look for hand outs…. between us we also rank 2 boarder patrol officers and several hunters, they will be in for a tough fight if they try to take us!
Thanks for the comment! You’re lucky to have such a great group already. When we move to the island we want to we hope it’ll be the same way.
THIS. I LOVE THIS. Sharing.
Thank you!
I love your article. I have shared it on Twitter, FaceBook and Pinterest. Soldier on!
Thank you Bluejeanmama!! It is appreciated more than I can express in text! 🙂
Love this article.
Thank you very much! I really hope it helps people to see the importance of providing for their own and think of ways they can get a little ‘food insurance.’
Great article!!!
Been there…gonna do that! I’ve had a few family members and friends say the same thing to me. I’ve told the family members that by the time they actually show-up at my front door I’ll have bugged out. To the friends who think they will show up at my bug out location, I ask them where is it? They don’t know 🙂 If they all showed up, I’d be out of food within 10-14 days and dead in 30-45.
You’re right, they would eat through everything and then likely just move on once everything is consumed. Smart move. Now you can point them to this article haha! Thanks for the comment and following the blog! 🙂
I found this a while back…I’ve given it to several friends and family since. It’s a hard wake-up call but it has to be said.
Dear Friend:
I love my friends, but I will shoot you if I have to. I’m serious. Here’s why.
I tried to persuade you to prepare for what’s coming and, in the process, revealed that to you that I’m preparing. You realized that I have food, guns, etc., and ended up saying, half kidding but half serious, “I’ll come to your place when SHTF.”
No you won’t. I will shoot you. If you threaten me and my family, I will use force to defend against any threat. And showing up at my place hungry and unprepared is a threat to me. You will eat my food and use up my medical supplies, generator, firewood, etc. That’s less of these life-saving things for me and my family. That’s a threat.
Is this greed on my part? No. I will take care of the truly needy – those who cannot take care of themselves. But you are different. Very different. You had plenty of chances to prepare for yourself.
But what did you do? You spent the weekends watching football, went on expensive vacations, and never made your spouse mad at you with your “crazy” ideas that something bad was happening. You didn’t do shit because… you would just come to my place. Problem solved, right? You didn’t need to spend time, money, and create domestic strife because I did that all for you.
Not. Why should I spend my time, money, and stress just so you can waltz into my place and live happily ever after? I’m a nice guy, but – really? – I’m going to spend my (very limited) free time, disposable income, and domestic tranquility just so you can have a leisurely life and more material comforts pre-Collapse while I don’t?
Why do you think I will sacrifice enormous amounts of my time and money so you can enjoy yourself while I’m slaving away? Would you assume you could come over and leave your broken car at my house? That I would just spend thousands of dollars on parts and several weekends fixing it and then hand it over to you with a smile – just because I’m a “good guy”? Would anyone expect that?
You do, apparently. You actually expect to waltz over to my cabin and receive – with a smile – thousands of dollars of food and other supplies that took me all my weekends to acquire and store.
So, my grasshopper friend (as in the story of the grasshopper and the ant), here is your official warning: if your “plan” for your and your family’s safety is to come to my place, you’re wrong. When you show up, I’ll ask you to leave. When you don’t, I’ll point a gun in your face. If you refuse to leave, I will shoot you. You are a threat to me.
You had years of time and very clear warnings to get ready. But you didn’t. Hey, I love football but haven’t been able to watch a game in a few years; I’ve been fixing up the cabin, buying supplies, and training with the Team. I spent a lot of money doing all these things so I haven’t gone on a long vacation in… forever. I have had several difficult times with my wife because of all the prepping I’m doing; I could have easily done what you did, which is just say “Yes, dear” and not prepare because she didn’t want you to.
I hope this message jolted you. There’s still some time. Go prep. Please understand that your plan cannot be “I’ll come to your place.” I don’t want to shoot you.
I have seen this before as well. It is on another blogger’s site and they generously shared the rights for people to freely use it to get the message across. It has been shared so many times that I am unable to find the original so I can give credit. Thank you for sharing this with my readers as well. It is a great letter.
Welll said. My approach is……nobody (including my immediate family) knows that I am a prepper. During the aftermath of hurricane ‘Charlie” I lost power for two weeks and people were surprised that I was so calm and well fed!
Thank you for the comment. It is good to have tight OPSEC. The only caution I would give is not to let them see just how well you are doing. Otherwise, they will wonder why and come looking for answers. Glad you made it through a disaster though!
Wonderful Post thank you
I am glad you enjoyed it, thank you for the comment.
First time on your blog…great article on a difficult subject. This hit home for me because years ago, when speaking to my Mormon family (who are all very well prepared), I asked if I, not a Mormon, were to come to their door when the SHTF, would they let me in, there was a resounding NO! I was appalled. “But I’m family”! Now, years later, as a prepper, I totally get it. I have had to say that “NO” to someone once, and it was unpleasant, but that unpleasant feeling doesn’t compare to not being able to take care of our own should the need arise. Thanks again, and happy prepping!
Thank you for the comment and story! It IS very hard to think of saying NO to people but thankfully, telling them NO now leaves them time to take care of themselves. A NO when they show up to your door hungry would be much harder and much worse. Ugh, the guilt!
me and a buddy talk about stocking up on food and supplies at work ( when you drive a coal truck you’ll talk about anything just to pass time ). just incase something ever happens. some of the other guys would always make fun of us and that’s what we told them.. don’t come to my door with nothing in your hand.. a year later 9 out of 13 guys are putting food and other supplies back!…. they’ve seen the videos of black Friday sales and how people act. they’ve seen videos during Katrina and Sandy. and they see whats going on in the world and the things happening here in the U.S. and all it took was to tell them don’t come to my door if you aint contributing anything to my group or even trying to barter,
Thank you for the comment and story! You and your buddy did your co workers a great service by telling them no and making them THINK! You have essentially created your own local group and that is something many preppers only dream of. It can be very hard when you are the only person preparing for natural and man made disasters. The support you will get from each other (and ideas exchanged, knowledge, skill sets) will make the whole of you much stronger. I’m glad you liked the article Eddie!
Hmmm…..I really need to give this some thought, because those EXACT words have been said to me. “When the trucks stop running, I’m going to Beth’s house,” because people know I’m passionate about everyone having a garden, and I put produce up, and buy a bit extra when I can. I realize I need to take that opportunity to really hammer home the point that, since they’ve acknowledged that the “trucks WILL stop running” and that really hard times seem to be imminent, they should stop joking and seriously prepare. I am wiling to share to care for my own children, but none of them live nearby. I agree we should share and work alongside those to barter needed skills for each other’s welfare. I’m more concerned with further cementing my relationship with the LORD, as He is the only secure refuge. I battle with trusting in my own abilities and surrendering to His. Anyone else there?
Beth,
They aren’t kidding either. They WILL come to your house when/if it hits the fan. You have every right to tell them “NO!” Especially the ones you know in your heart will only consume and mooch off of you and provide nothing in return except empty cans and dirty dishes. I also suggest you find a place you can stash some long term food at safely. A little cache of supplies in case you get wiped out by those ‘joking’ people. It is harsh but sometimes the tough love is needed to wake people up. YOU are not responsible for them, their safety, or full bellies. Sorry if I go a little overboard here but it ticks me off. When did it become acceptable for people to just mooch off others and then, when told “no!” get offended? Blarg! Good luck to you and your journey!
Kregg, how do you connect with the neighbors at your bugout location? I’m planning on doing it the way you describe but am concerned about this. I put this in future b/c I’m still trapped in a megamonstertroplis (departure date – Summer 2016). I do stock food/supplies but I have no dirt and very little space. I still can’t relocate to the country full-time but will be going to a much smaller town with much more traditional values. I’ll also be acquiring a bugout location. Which brings me to my question – how do you connect with the neighbors at your bugout place? I don’t want them to think I’m some helpless city-slicker who will mooch and be in the way, but I don’t want them to be showing up at my door with their hands out either. Cooperative support is what I’m looking/hoping for. Any suggestions?
We are in a little different situation from many. Since we live in the middle of the Pacific, and don’t believe that a major collapse is survivable by us in our situation, we don’t try.
We do prepare pretty well for the most likely disaster, a hurricane, and secondarily for earthquakes. That prepares us pretty well for the less likely disasters like pandemics (just add some extra medical supplies such as N95 masks and gloves) or tsunamis. The latter won’t affect us directly, but could damage the harbors and possibly airports.
Since we prep for disasters which we almost certainly will be able to dig out of adequately in less than a month, we can store extra beans and rice for some others, and water purifiers for them to use on neighborhood swimming pools. Our stored water is for ourselves, but if we can shove purified pool water at others, it can stave off a lot of violence, perhaps long enough for the distribution system to get up and running again.
In our situation, it makes sense for us to be able to offer some limited help, even to those who didn’t prep themselves. Others may have prepped, but lost their preps to the disaster. A #10 can of rice and another of beans don’t cost much, and they are infinitely cheaper than shooting someone, even if they were foolish enough not to prep.
Would this strategy work in a long term collapse? No, I don’t think so. Demand would be infinite, resources scarce. Will it work in a short term disaster? Maybe not: plenty of people will inevitably hear about the ‘soft touch’ nearby. Nonetheless, we plan on helping out the neighbors. In the awful situation of having to defend ourselves, then defend ourselves in court, I want to be able to honestly tell a jury that we did what we could to help, but were attacked anyway. That we helped people because we wanted to help people, within the limits of our resources, which are far from infinite.
And if helping doesn’t work, we are armed.
Because we have to draw the line somewhere.
An excellent comment and thank you for it! This is a prime example of why there is no “One Way” to prepare, or build the ultimate bug out bag, or everyday carry bag. Each person, each situation is different. There are similarities, sure, but each bag, each plan, is a little different from the others. Personally, I think those differences is what makes humanity stronger as a whole.
Thank you! I now have my standard answer for those who say they are coming to my house – “Only if you have your supplies stored here”. That should wake a few people up.
Hi Teri, I have heard that reply suggested a few times, and I think it is a good one. It turns the responsibility back where it belongs: on them.
The trick to maintaining the relationship after that may be in saying it firmly but with a smile. Because after all, if you are talking with them about what you have, they probably are friends to some extent, or at least friends of friends, and they probably are not bad people at heart. They just haven’t given the idea any serious thought before, and are a bit off balance when it comes up.
Helping them with a short list of stuff to have (not that you would actually expect them to store it at your place) might help, because they likely have no idea where to start, or how to go about it.
I wrote a short post awhile back for people like that. If our host doesn’t mind my link (my blog is non-commercial and not particularly prepping oriented), you can find it here:
http://wudndux.blogspot.com/2012/11/disaster-preparation-basics.html
Then if they blow it off again…well, that is there responsibility.
It is hard to keep that conversation light, but I think it helps if one can manage it. Keep smiling, and keep telling them that you don’t have the resources to help others. You can help with low cost advice- especially for a short term emergency which after all is the most likely.
Smile and repeat until they get the idea that you are not hostile, but you simply can’t take responsibility for them. Your family is your responsibility, their family is theirs.
great post and I agree completely. I am retired and living alone in an urban retirement apartment on the florida gulf coast. I have tried to talk to my neighbors but they are clueless, even though we have been through many storms in our long lifetimes. a few have said they would come to my apartment but I have told them no. everyone in my building is also aware that i have a gun for my own protection. since im from texas, everyone knows im a tough old woman who will to use it.
we are all on fixed incomes and I seem to be able to have lots of preps while others complain that they have no money for preps. they have a car with all the expenses to go with it and only drive it 1 or 2 times a week to buy groceries because they don’t keep anything extra in their pantry. I use public transport and also have a 3-wheeled bike and can bypass the cars stuck on the roads to get to a bug out location if I have to leave. if I stay in place, I have a little extra that I can share with only a few of my friends because they have learned from growing up here that they need to prep. we get together and talk about what we did as youngsters with our families and we make appropriate plans from there.
I feel good that a few others understand and prepare but I worry about all the others who wont last a week when something happens. the government will be right here to take care of them. HA. we live on a 3 mile by 7 mile peninsula with only a few main roads out. we will be on our own for quite awhile if FEMA lives up to its past actions.
Thank you so much for telling your story! I am glad you enjoyed the story, too. I think it is fantastic that you have a way to bug out, smart lady! I admit I laughed when I saw the bit about being from Texas. Growing up in Alaska, there was always a certain mindset that was unique to me. Until I met a Texan. The two largest states have a LOT in common when it comes to how we view our freedoms, our states and country, and the world overall. The American fighting spirit for what is right will rise up when it is most needed. There just hasn’t been that one big jolt to wake the zombies up yet. 😉
I fully agree. I am working on my own garden and learning to be self sufficient to provide for my family because shit is about to fly within our lifetime. Already burned some of the lazy family bridges. They say I am going to hell? Good… don’t knock on my door when you don’t get raptured… if a person is willing to provide a gun for food or medical supplies or medical aid.. they are welcome. I agree to no free handouts.
While I think it is good to want to help, there are times when being generous will get you killed and a serious disaster would definitely be one of them. Thanks for the comment!
Reading through the comments took much longer than reading the article – always a good thing in our world 🙂
But as someone above said, mostly a useless post – anyone reading it is already prepared, and simply agreeing with you.
I wrote a similar article about two years ago:
http://floridahillbilly.com/so-if-everything-goes-to-pot-i-know-who-to-visit-or-be-prepared/
And more recently, I ran into a guy that knew of my readiness background and we were comparing notes.
This jackhole KNOWS he needs to be ready for bad times, but his plan is simply stock up on guns and ammo and go take what he needs. He said TO MY FACE that “It may come down to just you and me looking at each other over our guns”
If it gets to a societal breakdown, and I see him walking up my street, he won’t have the chance to see me.
And if it DOES get that bad (and I don’t actually believe it will, but other bad things DO happen, storms, illness, death in the family, etc that all are maid easier to deal with if you have prepared), After a few dozen bodies pile up in front of my house, the message should be clear about my welcoming policy…
(I’m joking, of course, but I will put my family over my friends in a heartbeat)
OPSEC is tough when you area Blogging Prepper…living in a high population area, more than halfway out on a massive peninsula (aka south Florida). Folks who know me, know what I am and do. I’ll have LOTS of visitors.
How I deal with it will be interesting. And not in
a good way.
Great article!
Peace,
db
That guy is a real piece of work!
I realize that I have no OPSEC but with the extremely small population, and the fact that most Alaskans have food set back anyway, I don’t worry about it as much as I would if I were in the lower 48. Being on an island, too means there won’t be a huge influx of roving bands from the next city over. On top of that, I have the blog here where I have shared pictures of my canned food and few mylar bags with beans and rice. Though we don’t have much (working on the 3 month supply again) due to having to adjust to a single income for the last three months, our REAL resource is our skills to get and grow more food, etc. Thanks for the comment DB!
I’m another in the opinion of “great post.” I can think of a few friends that would come-a-knockin’. They are the ones who don’t want to take the time to even think about such a thing now. They are too busy. They’ll just go to the store like ‘normal’ people. I don’t consider myself a prepper, just someone who wants enough home canned corn in the pantry to get through until next corn season, etc. I don’t know what OPSEC stands for, but I know how to grow, hull and cook a bean. I am always willing to share knowledge & maybe even a seed or two, just don’t ask me to be responsible for your decisions and lack of preparation.
Glad you decided to address the topic. Found you via Gorges’ Grouse.
Welcome and thank you for the reply!
We thankfully, moved out of my native California 9 years ago, to get out of the crush of humanity. (haven’t looked back either)
We have been “prepping” the entire time we’ve been married, now that we are “older”, we know we will be the “fall back” position for our nearby children and their young families. That, is who we prep for. THEM. And only them.
We’ve had a number of our neighbors (always laughingly of course), tell us, “When trouble comes, our family is heading to YOUR house!” To which I (always) laughing or chuckling reply, “Well, then you will die at the bottom of the hill with everyone else who “thinks” we are their emergency preparedness warehouse!” I use humor to help deflect the very real possibilities of them actually showing up. For those who are dismayed at our apparent (their perceptions) lack of “Christian charity”, I refer them to the parable of the Bridegroom and Ten Virgins found in the Holy Bible, and let them figure it out for themselves. While my wife and I will be charitable to whom we are directed to be so, by the Holy Spirit, we have decided that those charitable priorities, will be those folks who absolutely are not able to prep themselves because of long-term illness, elderly on extremely limited incomes, etc. Those folks who CHOOSE to blindly think others will take care of them, will learn that they indeed had ample opportunity to prepare “something” even on their own meager budgets. Just like we did and chose to do. Will I turn away hungry children” Probably not? Their hungry parents who fall into the foolish category? Yes. I will, The children are innocent pawns of their parents foolishness, the adults need to reap the harvest of their own actions. For those who want to throw up the “…judge not lest ye be judged” hypocrisy, righteous judgement is not what that scripture reference is all about. Hope this helps somebody.
When people start saying that I am not being very Christian and greedy, etc I say the following:
Firstly, I never claimed to be Christian, that was YOUR assumption. Secondly, it states very clearly in the Bible that God helps those who help themselves. I don’t ever recall it saying anywhere in there that it is OK to let the government take care of you, or to make a LIFESTYLE CHOICE to live off the charity of others (like the people who keep having kids to get more food stamps and ‘free money’).
Lastly, it is not being ‘greedy’ when you worked for it and stocked up. The word “Greed” is defined as intense and selfish desire for something, especially wealth, power, or food. So, THEY are the ones, in fact, that are being greedy about MY property and supplies. I never said I wouldn’t help people, I just will not, not, NOT, help people who knew better, were able bodied and still did nothing.
Thank you for the comment!!
My New Friend,
When You became a blogger, You put yourself out there for criticism. I guess that is the nature of this business; probably why I am not a blogger.
Here is a link to tell You the origins of your statement, “Secondly, it states very clearly in the Bible that God helps those who help themselves.”
I only come to deflect the obvious criticism You are going to get.
http://www.gotquestions.org/God-help-themselves.html
OK, thank you. I will edit it accordingly. It is a widely held belief then hehe. 😉
i live in a 3rd floor apartment (not real big just a 3 floor building with 12 apartments) what do you think is a good way to store and prep with limited space and 20 other people in the building? (none know i prep)
There are many ways to store in plain sight. A box of food can be disguised as an end table with a cloth over it. Plastic totes can have food in them but marked “Christmas decorations” or some other label that would make most people pass over them without looking inside. Also, you will want to be careful should the S ever HTF. Cooking in an apartment building makes it hard to keep the smell down and when people are hungry, it is AMAZING how far away they can smell food.
I would do a Google search for your question. There are articles out there for ways you can store preps with limited space that may spark a few ideas that work for you, too.
Thank you for the question!
Wonderful post. More people need to say these exact things to the freeloaders, etc. who will “just come to your house” when things get bad. I’ve heard that myself and I told them not unless they brought lots of food and supplies with them. All people need to be accountable for themselves. As you said, they need to stop depending on the government, FEMA, and others to take care of them. We will have our water, solar and heating took care of in the next three months. We also have plans for working on security and defense when that day comes and they are knocking on our doors. (They have to get to my door first). We are Christian people, but I strongly feel that God expects us to take care of ourselves too. I’d help my older neighbor or a sick child, but they would have to help me too. It will come to that one day I’m afraid.
This is a very insightful article,I myself was born a prepper.
Most of my family and friends think I am crazy but I tell them all the time they need to have a months amount of basic foods and water.For an example my husbands company just up and went to another state, so here we were no income coming in until his unemployment kicked in.Yet we really just took it in stride we still were able to eat our favorite foods due to the fact that I had been raised in a very poor family and I did not want my son to go live like that I would spend $10.00 or $20.00 each week to add to my stock. I used my coupon savings to cover the extra.My food budget is $80.00 a week and I never go over that amount. I find myself thinking why don’t people just stock up just a little here and there.
So many decisions to be made.I also think it will come to some point when the tough things will have to make some heart wrenching decisions.I prey to God it never gets to that point.
We just purchased some land and tell people we are getting the land ready to homestead in our retirement (we tell them it is still quite a few years away). I can and preserve foods, we are building a root cellar that can double as a shelter if need be. We make sure others know we are not in a position to ‘give’ stuff away as we are growing only what we need to sustain us through the winter. They don’t need to know we are also stocking the shelves so to speak.
Personally I think people are afraid to think our world, as we know it, will collapse and we will be without the creature comforts we have become accustomed. I feel sorry for them as they will not have the skills to survive.
We also have a rifle range to keep our skills up to par, we are prepared to help our family but not anyone else. If someone wants to be productive and help the farm, that is fine but there will be no free loaders allowed.
Some scoff at us at the store when we purchase foods for long term storage but I just look at them and smile…I know we have the tools and skills to survive when that day comes.
Thank you for the comment! We are working toward the same thing on the land and all but it is our hope that we are there in just a few short years instead of retirement (which would be another 25 years for us). Plus, the location will be remote and on an island so that helps keep roving bands of rioters from being an issue. Thankfully for us, lots of people buy large bags of staples such as beans and rice here on a normal, daily basis. There are people who come into town via skiff to shop and then go back to their home a short ride across the bay to another island. Most grocery stores stock large bulk bags as a result. Less attention for people like us!
Great comments!!
Here it is, 1 march and I am just getting around to reading this post.
I have several thoughts on the subject.
If You live in a large populated area, and have neighbors all around that refuse to even look at their situation, well You are screwed. You had better get in contact with distant relatives, meaning living in a small community or rural and make a plan for You and Your immediate family. When the chips fall, even Your extended family will turn on You as if You suddenly were diagnosed with the aids disease.
As You mentioned above, the situation people found themselves in after Katrina, where there was a total, criminal, lack of preparedness by the incompetent so called first line gubmnt officials. And with Sandy, where most of the population ignored the warnings that came 5 to 6 days ahead of time.
Each of these events show how with even the best planning by, gubmnt FEMA, which was formed as a knee jerk reaction after Katrina, will bring a delay in help as witnessed by the delay after Sandy. All of these band aid solutions have been created to make those who refuse to plan, feel good about their stupidity.
I am 74 years old and am in very good, but fading health because I am a post polio and flesh eating disease survivor. I get to live with an advancing nerve degrading situation. I cannot even entertain the thought of bugging out. It is doubtful that I will be able to walk in a few short years. I live in a small community 45 miles from a major metropolitan city in the Northwest. This does not prevent me from leading planning by those around me who are concerned about what might happen. Facilitating, meet-ups that at least begin to address the options.
The possibility that the poop will hit the fan all at once is a reality, but we need to plan for what happens in stages leading up to the ultimate, “what-if?” What-if we have a localized earth quake, or volcano, or flood or, or?? Each of these possibilities will require a similar prepared approach to a lesser degree; but utilizing the same skills and resources.
First, Thanks for another excellent article. I also want to thank the many who have shared here in the comments. I have had this conversation many, and with none other than my own mother. I suggested a few years ago that she look at doing the little bit extra it takes to be more comfortable in lesser times. Her reply: “I’m ok, I just put my head in the sand…” Needless to say, we never spoke of it again.
I think we have to be very careful how we share this idea. While those of us who are like minded understand that the lights could go out whenever, and may stay that way a while, I believe that many are so afraid and uncomfortable with the idea of disaster or SHTF times, that to prepare in any way, or to acknowledge they should, is to admit to themselves that it could happen. Its easier for them to laugh it off, and remain comfortable in their own mind that it will never happen to them.
I think sometimes WE are partially at fault for some of them turning their noses up at the idea of being more prepared. Yes, I said it. We need to be less dramatic in the way we present things sometimes. No, not all of us, but there are enough “end of days” prepers out there that the mere mention of being prepared invokes visions of us running around with tin foil on our heads looking for the mother ship.
I find its slightly, and I stress SLIGHTLY, more successful to present the idea of doing things to make life more comfortable until things get back on track. Being Canadian, we have the added concern that some do not. Extremely cold weather. It doesn’t take very long when the power goes out in January (for example) for people to realize that maybe having a couple extra blankets in the closet would have been a good idea. If we suggest that they need to prepare for disaster, they giggle.. If we suggest that they think of having a little extra around for if the power or water went out to make it a more comfortable wait, they seem more receptive.
Sorry folks, kinda got away from the main topic a little there. I agree with everyone’s sentiment in regards to saying no. I think its our responsibility to offer the knowledge and assistance in planting the seed in their mind, but with that, its also our responsibility to make sure they realize that we are not Walmart, and they aren’t going to swamp our boat in the storm with extra people.
I tell those who think they’ll come to my house, I wont be there. Plain and simple.
Well wishes to all.
Thank you for another fantastic comment. I am glad you brought up the possibility that WE as preppers and homesteaders may be at some fault. Most preppers and homesteaders are very passionate about what we do. We have had the veil of rose colored glass removed (realizing it is only US who can remove it) and when realization hits, we naturally want to share it with those we love and care about. It can be very frustrating when they aren’t receptive. Taking the angle you do does make it more palatable to the general masses. Another angle is to look at ‘prepping’ like insurance. The great part about that is YOU write your own insurance policy and control it versus some company that is more interested in profits than your overall well being.
I like that too. I might just have to yoink that for later use. Many thanks for your efforts spreading this kind of information. Great work!
For years, I’ve encouraged those around me to at least have a week’s worth of non-perishables on hand for emergencies. Tried to teach various food preserving and cooking classes and one-on-one lessons. Somebody will eventually say, “we’ll come to your place if there’s an emergency.” I just smile really big and tell them to be sure to bring their work clothes. They know I’m not kidding. Wanna eat, you’re gonna work for it here.
This past year, I stopped feeling like I should warn others.
There are some people who can NOT ever understand that some sacrifices need to be made today to have a better tomorrow.
I have “go away” bags that are in my food rotation. Yes, I understand the dangers of this so don’t go there. Right now I’m stuck at home. Literally can not leave my property due to the floods in my state (SC). Only have 2 neighbors. I would like to be out there to help those in need but here I am. 🙁 No one has come to me either. We’ve been eating very well and not lacked for anything.
I often start the conversation with in this cold and icy season how much food and water do you have. The conversation often turns to why do you care how much I have. and my simple response to people who get this far in this conversation.
“…because I don’t want to have to shoot you to keep what I have.”
Another conversation I have is what would be your job if the lights go off and they aren’t coming back on. I find peoples responses very interesting and a lot scary!! thank you for this article.
Thank you for the comment! The answers and perceptions people have about how they would handle a disaster like the lights going out is indeed SCARY. We humans (especially Americans) are so out of touch with what it means to really survive and thrive through disasters. Keep the conversation going!
It’s the ant and the grasshopper. And of course a lack of consideration in knowing how much extra work it is to prepare and store food more a few extra months. On the matter of other people needing to prepare. sure they do. But here’s the thing for many of them they don’t have enough for the now. My family went through a rough spell when I was growing up and we were on food stamps too. We are a large family and there really wasn’t any extra money from the stamps to put towards saving anything extra. So the point is just because you can doesn’t mean everyone else can. And the aunt with the big house and doesn’t save is probably very lonely. and grew up in a frugal way so she only buys the food she needs. But anyway. not trying to bash you just some of the examples didn’t suit the article I felt. But preparing what you can is still important.
As I have read this article, France is under attack by terrorists. If you think this can’t happen here you are sadly mistaken. I was trying to make sure I was able to take care of the power being out during the winter. Light, heat, water filtration, food. Sometimes my hubby scoffs at me. This series of events means we all need to step up what we do.
And yet, sadly, people will still not believe it and do nothing to better their chances.
Perhaps one of the important things to remember is: Don’t tell people about that food supply that you are building up. This whole conversation would never have happened if you hadn’t mentioned to them that you “were building up a 3-month food supply.”
Yes, it is important to think about what you will do if people come begging. Perhaps more important, is to remember not to give people a REASON to think that you would be a person to come begging FROM.
Good point.
I was raised with people of the depression, which was a blessing for me,when i was younger we had alot if days with no food, then i started working part-time and a little woman told me “honey get fillers, mac and cheese, beans, potatoes, and jiffy cake mixes. If you can get that you wont go without again” she was so right my brother and i stockpile. It was so fun to go with my brother to the store with 10 dollars, it was like an advantager to see what we could buy for two weeks! I feel blessed to have had that opportunity to share that with my brother
Great article. I have been putting food aside for a year now. A little at a time, amazing how when you stop and take an accounting how much you can accumulate. A while back my husband and I both lost our jobs and we realized that we had some food for maybe a month, we were screwed and we went on food stamps, for the 6 months we were on them there were no fancy meals or junk food bought. We ate simply and at the end of the month what was left we bought food we could store away. At the end of the 6 months when we were better off we kept the same pratice and glad we did. Even if it is a container of peanut butter or beans or $5 a month it will add up. I now have a grocery budget along with a $20 budget towards food storage.
Thank you for the comment and I am glad you enjoyed the article. It really is amazing but so many people are turned off by not being able to do it all at once. Good on you for making the system work for you and good luck in your continued preps!
Or you could just keep your mouth closed and not leteveryone know you have food
You sure could and that would help for awhile. But only for a while. Eventually, the mobs will go from house to house and tear them apart top to bottom. Other things will key people in to the fact that you have when they don’t: You aren’t out looking for food. Your kids aren’t crying about being hungry. Your kids tell other people you have food (because they see their friends hungry and want to help, etc).
So, while your idea is a very good one that will help, eventually you WILL be found out. The scents of your food cooking will carry a long way on the wind. There is no fool-proof answer here. To not set boundaries though, that is a surefire way to bring another disaster to your doorstep more quickly. Thanks for the comment!
At 65 years old if my kids are crying for food it’s because they didn’t listen to what they were taught and they will be doing it in their own homes. Also no matter what my kids did or didn’t do if it’s in my power they will eat. Another idea is to teach your children to keep their mouths shut about what is or isn’t at home. My Dad taught us, back in the 1950’s that what we had was no one’s business but ours. Also there is a reason that I bought many weapons and taught my children how to use them. Frankly I would have pitied the fool that messed with my daughter the wrong way when she was a teenager. That would have been one sorry boy!LMAO!!
Thanks for the info. This is my first response to any of these posts, and while not quite a reply to the article, I’m interested in what I can do and say to persuade my family of the need to prepp. I live in Sweden, and right now the country is in chaos with 200,000 new “gimmegrants” arriving last year. The rapes and murders you may have seen on the news. It’s the same throughout Europe, and I can’t see this ending well. That said, I’ve persuaded my wife of the need to do something, and have begun laying up stores of food and tools, but not everyone even within the family is fully supportive. I guess they think I’m marginally crazy!
Anyway, my question: has anyone out there got any good advice as to how I can persuade those in denial? Some simple stuff (statistics, maybe) that would illustrate just how quickly things can go south when the SHTF?
Thanks in advance.
Hi Paul! Wow, Sweden! That is pretty cool for an island girl from Alaska. 🙂
As to your question (and thank you for asking here!) that can be very rough. Suggestions I would make, you know them best, would be to talk about times when things were rough. Here in the states, we had the Great Depression or major storms (Hurricane Katrina is a prime example) where the infrastructure of our supply systems aren’t working right. I am sure Sweden gets some really bad storms, too. Ones that can knock power out for extended periods of time. If you take it from the ‘natural disaster’ standpoint, it is more palatable to those who are resistant to prepping.
A personal piece of advice is to not let the crazy show. YOU see the need to prep. YOU have had the rose colored glasses removed and feel the urgency. To them, you are being an alarmist, extreme, and yeah…maybe a little crazy.
Also consider taking the tactic of cost of food. To buy in bulk and store it yourself saves money overall. The initial investment can be overwhelming but take it in small steps. Instead of one, buy two, etc. For example, we buy meat only twice a year – during the huge sales. We buy in bulk and then vacuum seal up meal portions. Any meat still frozen after a year gets pressure canned which does two things: First, it makes the food shelf stable so you don’t need power to keep it from spoiling, and Second, we aren’t wasting or tossing anything out.
My first round of doing this, I had saved receipts on how much I spent on the meat. I carried them through the canning portion, too. I got curious 2 years later about price differences. Well, the jar of beef I had canned had a cost of $3.99 a pound (it was a roast that I cubed up). The meat I had just bought and was processing up cost $5.49 a pound…these are SALE prices, too! (It’s expensive in Alaska haha). The point is, if you show them the amount of money they save by buying in bulk and processing themselves, chances are they will be more open to the idea of ‘putting extra back.’
Some reading I think you would benefit from: http://www.homesteaddreamer.com/2014/10/03/5-stages-new-preppers-go/
Thanks again!
One more thing Paul: I have people who know they need to prep but still won’t. I also know they will show up at my house if the SHTF so what I did was buy them some preps and told them that the contents of the box are their ticket “In.”
Inspiring article. It reminds me of Noah who built the Ark and people mocked him. If I may suggest don’t put all eggs in the same basket. Maybe we can deposit some of our supply food in our relative’s place also, how about that?. Just in case our home is all ruined.
YES!! Now you’re thinking outside the box! That is a great idea and one we have already implemented. Thanks for the comment and I’m glad you liked the article.
Great article! We have a group of close friends who live in town (we are on 15 acres in a rural area). We have talked a lot together about these things. I know that they are preparing and we have had them over to have “food storage” meals to encourage them that the stuff really does taste good. Just out of ignorance, one of them told someone else (not in the group) that we knew a lot about prepping. A couple others made jokes about coming to our place if town got bad. I sent them all a letter (just to make sure we were all on the same page) letting them know that they were all welcome to come here; IF they brought food, tools and other supplies with them AND if they either had skills and/or willingness to learn and work to help support everyone. (Also a tent, RV, etc. would be helpful for their housing until we could work together to make some other kind of shelters. I also warned them against “outing” anyone as a prepper for the reasons you mentioned above. The letter was very well received by all, I got an apology from the one who had “outed” us, and it has opened other avenues of discussion among us.
Whew! You got lucky on that one. Way to be proactive, too!
Hello All,
I would also like to add a comment to this website. Even though I do agree with the author on this site and with many others here too, I would like to point out the following things which I would ask you all to bear in mind: –
1.) There are people who could never qualify to be accepted by most of you here, if you all use the measure that whoever comes to your place in an emergency has to have food, tools, or vital skills.
I would suggest the following: –
Please show mercy to: –
1.) The disabled and the disadvantaged.
2.) Those who are too old or too poor to help themselves.
3.) Single parent mothers or fathers who just do not have the funds or means.
4.) People who have lost everything, including preppers!
5.) Those who meet the above criteria but who do not suit your race!
The insinuation of this website is technically and practically dangerous, because it can only think of taking in people who can be of “some benefit” to the recipients. This is seriously flawed and morally bankrupt thinking and behaviour. It is in danger of being akin to – “only the fittest will survive” or, that human life only has value “if”?
If we pursue the aforementioned to its fullest agenda, we could be in danger of being no better than genocidal murderers. Do you really want that? Are you saying you and your life is better than the “unfortunates” because you knew; because you prepared; because you had the means?
I would suggest to you all that we should be preparing for others – where possible, and we should consider it out duty – in certain circumstances – to look after the needs of the unfortunate others.
You certainly took this to the extreme side, didn’t you?
Let me make this VERY clear: Freeloaders can sod off. To be EXPECTED to spend YOUR money for OTHER PEOPLE who DIDN’T PREPARE is ludicrous and I absolutely do not have to accept that as a norm. I will not.
I left your comment up because you weren’t rude about it but I do have to say that you putting RACE in there really ticked me off. I really look forward to the day when the color of your skin is no longer an issue.
Hello Homesteaddreamer,
Hmmm? What should one say? How should I reply to this? All of your reasonings are correct! I would suggest that we all have to be careful, so that we do not make mistakes we will later regret. Let me explain:-
When all hell breaks loose, “everyone” will be in dire need! Your judgements are correct, especially where the people you have warned are concerned.
We should therefore consider that there are many people who, “had no clue”, and those who had “no means” to prepare.
Again, your comments are correct, however, I am sure it would be wiser if we were to avoid taking extreme positions. All I am saying is that if we can make extra preparations “for others” we can use our discretion on who else we can bring in!
We know, with all certainty that we cannot save everyone. -That our hearts will break over the people we have to turn away. Perhaps, people who are even more deserving than the ones we have chosen. But, I am arguing that mercy can be a very beautiful blessing for all of us to nurture and keep.
Through mercy we can provide for people where we did not have to. It makes it easier for us to endure the trials and tribulations of turning others away.
I would argue that just because the world gets ugly, it does not mean we have to follow it. -To follow it to its ultimate conclusion, and by doing so, to thus lose our humanity too.
We have a wonderful privileged opportunity here. And, that privilege is for us to be something far better, that what this world would want to shape us to be. The privilege we have here, is to have a good big heart graced with mercy and love for our sad, down and unfortunate fellows – who could not help themselves.
Who among us would turn away a blind female, because she did not prepare? Or who in our midst would say no to single woman with 2 hungry children? A woman who’s partner left her, and where she has struggled on her own for several years? What, if it was the other way around? Where a decent man was left with 3 children because his partner turned to crime and drugs?
Should we close the door, because the blind woman was black? Or, because the family which approached us was of a “different race”?
It is true that those of whom we have warned can have no mercy or pity from us, seeing that they cared not enough for themselves or their family to do anything when they could. -But this should not mean that we should not make extra provisions for a few extra mouths if possible?
What if the people who we did bring in on “our terms”, because they were skilled and so on, turned out to be rotten? What then, when we have to physically and forcefully throw them out? And, then in hindsight consider the numbers of far better, more deserving individuals we could have accepted but turned away?
Perhaps, it would be better for us if we were part of the solution rather than part of the problem?
By doing so, we can redeem our hearts, our consciences, our works, and our lives. -So help me God, Amen.
I am glad there are people out there like yourself who, even under the most dire situations, believe they will be merciful and giving with all they have. I know myself better than that and know I would not be that way. At least, not so “wide open arms, everyone come in!” No way. Not going to happen.
The truth is, everyone has dark and light in them and during times of extreme stress, hunger, and fear will force all of us to make a choice. Another truth is one cannot possibly know which way it will go until they are in the thick of it. Perhaps I will turn all Mother Teresa and give it all away to the kids. Maybe I will take in those who I’ve already spoken with and planned for. It’s easy to sit in a comfy chair with clean clothing, being well fed and preach the merits of mercy and giving and helping your fellow man. How about a month after the power goes out or there are no supplies coming because of some disaster on the other side of the country that broke the supply chain?
Helping is one thing. Giving away your supplies because you have and others don’t is just stupid. Being expected to give away what others may call my ‘surplus’ ticks me right off. In fact, that infuriates me and gets my blood pumping. I have absolutely zero tolerance for the idea that those who ‘have’ are required or should give away to those who ‘don’t have.’ As I said in the article and to the person I spoke to
“A lack of planning and foresight on your part does not make a responsibility, emergency, or obligation on mine.”
It it harsh? Yep. Am I going to help people if things go bad? Yep. Am I going to help anyone who comes along, even if I know them? NOPE. There has to be a balance, as in all things.
I’ve already lost two friends over this. One i’ve actually tried to help stock up-just a little soup, instant mashed potatoes, and pet food. Everytime i visit, the food is gone. This person does not like instant food and probably tosses/donates it when i leave.
The second person has plenty of money, but refuses to keep food in her house. When she suggested that she could come here (she noticed the food in the garage). I said no but told her that i’d be happy to supply her for a week on my next Costco trip and that i’d save the receipts and she could reimburse me. She hasn’t spoken to me since.
Should there be a problem, i am not optimistic about our future…
I’ve read this before, probably even commented before, but I’ll do so again.
It’s not for me to say what anyone should do with regard to the needs of others. That is entirely your choice. I can only tell you my situation and how I feel about it.
I currently have about a 3 month emergency food supply for two people and two cats. At least a year’s worth or water filtration and purification supplies. Plus additional other survival supplies for different possible scenarios and yes weapons and what should be more than enough ammo. I also made sure to include the ability to grow food.
I consider what I have so for to be barely adequate since I have no idea how long any disaster might last. Space is a concern that prevents me stocking more right now, but a hopefully short time frame relocation will remedy that in the near future.
Once that happens my goal will be to have a minimum of an 8 month food supply for 2 people and 2 cats. Why 8 month minimum? Because depending on when a crisis might happen I want to be sure I have enough stored food to last us through a winter and then to wait out harvest time for planted crops. I consider 8 months to be sufficient to cover that and any possible crop production issues. Idealy I want a full years supply of stored food and 2 years of crop seeds to get started.
I intend to also ramp up other emergency supplies as well including medicine and first aid supplies, household items, ammo, tools, alternative power and fuel sources, etc.
Now except for a range of intentionally stocked barter items I am making no provision for dealing with others. My family is my priority. I will not be responsible for helping others out. There won’t be any freebies coming from me no matter how long or short a crisis or how desperate someone is. Anything I decide I’m willing to do will have a price attached.
If a person has something to offer in return I will consider it, but if all they have is a desperate look and empty hands then they are out of luck. I don’t care if that sounds mean or cruel, but anything I do for someone else without getting something of value or use in return is that much less available for my family and my family will always be priority.
I have friends that the only time they even have a week’s worth of food on hand is the day they return from their weekly grocery trip. That’s insane and they know it because I’ve told them as much. What if the crisis hits the night before their grocery trip day and the next day they meet with long lines of freaked out people hoarding the grocery shelves? Their current idea of emergency supplies is a few cans of tuna, spam and soup! Heck their dog has a longer lasting supply of food than they do.
I have no sympathy for them. Friends or not I won’t be there to feed them or their kids. Oh and none of them really know what I have, how much or my goals. That would be unwise.
I am also fully prepared in my mind to do whatever it takes to protect what is mine. The person that thinks one of my future chickens is worth risking their life over is going to find out that I value that chicken’s life above theirs.
Does this make me a bad person? If so I don’t really care.
I tell em by time u get to my house I’ll be gone to my bug out location
We hear they all the time…we’ll just come to your house. It’s maddening. Especially when it comes from those you know have no intention of helping themselves, even after you’ve preached about it for years.
This is an old post but as someone has linked to it I will comment as others may be reading it afresh. I don’t think you went far enough with your “warning” to your workmate. I tell those who I’ve risked approaching about prepping (but said no – we’ll do nothing but come to your place if SHTF) that they would be making a FATAL mistake to come to our property. We live a long way from the nearest city (I commute an hour’s drive to work each way [yes I have a solid get-home plan/supplies]). I tell them they probably will die even trying to make it to our place, especially if it is on foot. They WILL be turned away empty handed, and a gunpoint if/as necessary. They are far, far better staying at home and/or relying on whatever provisions their local government/Red Cross etc. provide.
Great post and my thoughts exactly. I get told all the time – well I’ll just come to your house. I reply, no you sure won’t. People need to realize and prepare. Thanks for stepping up and posting this!
Good read and so very true. It would be hard to turn family and freinds away but has to be done. Had very similar conversation with a co worker and a perparedness speaker, and when she said she would just come to my house. I don’t think so
I seriously object to your food stamps comment above. I’m sure there are folks who use the system but as someone who is temporarily getting help due to health issues I can tell you folks on food stamps cannot afford steak and lobster. The only reason I make it to the end of the month is because the garden I have not been able to give any attention to it still magically producing. I eat mostly a whole food unprocessed diet and that is definitely not cheaper although I do it because it’s healthier, and it is what my body requires. The diet I’m required to eat does include things like fish, specifically salmon, and red meat. Around here, steak quite frankly is not any more expensive than ground beef. I find that I usually cannot afford to buy the amount of basic that I need. I shop frugally. I shop what is on sale or clearance, & I shop at the stores with the lowest prices. That said if someone on food stamps is splurging, then they have saved up and gone without in order to be able to do so for a special occasion. I cannot fault them for that. If your current life situation is so rough that you’re having to ask for assistance to get through, a treat every now and then does tons for the morale to keep you going. You cannot judge what you’re seeing on the surface. That person driving a nice car may have bought a nice car and then lost their job or had a family member devastate their savings with health issues. That nice phone they have could have been a gift from someone when their old phone finally died. The nice clothes and manicure could be someone who is doing their best to find another job or perhaps they’re working already, as most folks on food stamps are, and they have the old-fashioned work ethic of putting your best foot forward. Also, just because it looks expensive doesn’t mean it is. Whether it is clothes or a food item, it could be found on an extreme discount. The fact is most people in this country are struggling. Most people are one or two paychecks away from being destitute themselves.
You have every right to feel the way you do, the same as I do. Your offense, objections, or issue with my viewpoints won’t change them, as what I am about to say won’t change your opinions. I also won’t apologize for them.
I have been on food stamps before. I have been a checker in both convenience stores and grocery stores and have seen first hand what I’m talking about. When it comes to the end of the month, they are buying whatever is on sale and kids eat ramen instead of a real meal.
You say I cannot judge what I see on the surface but aren’t you judging me with that comment? Aren’t you telling me that I am wrong for my thoughts, feelings, and opinions? You have no idea why I would think this way, only assume that I am generalizing instead of considering that perhaps, just maybe, I’ve seen it. A lot.
I am one of those people who are, literally, one or two paychecks from being destitute. You assume that because I have this site, I’m rich or something? I am not saying that all people are welfare queens. Nowhere in the article did I say or insinuate that. I also talk about the other side of the spectrum with the rich who also do nothing to prepare and just consume and waste. You didn’t have any problem with my comment about them, just glomb onto the foodstamps example. Hypocrite much?
So, ya. REALLY.
And….just because someone is old, handicapped, poor, doesn’t mean they can’t be prepared too. Average age of spouse and I is 74. We live on next to nothing. spouse is very handicapped. I am recovering from cancers and chemo. We have always prepped just in case of hard times – and there have been plenty of those. Cooking from scratch with the basics frees up money for preps. We also qualify for the food bank. I go there as often as I can and am able to put aside a few extras. I never refuse any offered garden produce and have a small garden too. I don’t count on anyone to provide for us. When I realized years ago that people “knew where to come when tshtf,” I let it be known that all my stuff had been used up in our tough times. Who would have the nerve to mooch off an couple of old, poor, handicapped folks? Answer – just about anybody! They don’t seem to look beyond their own noses.
Good for you! Doing what you can to the best of your ability is something largely lost these days. I agree that most people never consider their little worlds getting turned upside down. We are so biased in this country and have been brainwashed into believing the government will step in and make it all better with handouts. I prefer to try and take care of myself, thank you very much!